For You In Your Twenties

Approach your 20s with a guiding principle: "Work to learn, not just to earn."

Your twenties are a unique phase in life, offering you the opportunity to experiment and, in many ways, "waste" various resources such as time, money, energy, emotions, intellect, and even physical health. It's a time when you often operate under the assumption that these resources can always be reclaimed later.

However, there's a significant drawback to this approach. In your twenties, you tend to lack long-term perspective and foresight. Consequently, you frequently repeat the same mistakes instead of truly learning from them.

It's a natural part of us to be drawn to what's happening in the present - the latest trends, opinions and actions of those around us. This often leads us to be lured by enticing schemes that promise quick gains and easy success. It's also the reason why we tend to react strongly to current events, swinging between extreme excitement and panic as circumstances change.

To navigate this, it's crucial to evaluate people based on the scope of their vision. Avoid getting entangled with those who act without considering the consequences, constantly reacting to immediate stimuli. Associating with such individuals can infect you with their short-term thinking. Instead, focus on larger trends that govern events, things that might not be immediately visible. Always keep your long-term goals in mind. If you are in your teens and twenties or haven’t found clarity,

Avoid These…….

1. Excessive Chase For Wealth

It’s easy to see people riding expensive rides and what comes into your mind immediately is how to tell yourself you want to drive that in your 20s. I am not trying to discourage you but one thing you don’t know is the number of years, the number of jobs they took, the sacrifices they made and the hard work they put in for them to be able to afford those cars. Here, I mean those who made wealth legitimately and not the money miss roads.

But because you are in your 20s, and your perspective is short-sighted, you opt to chase money here and there in the hope of getting an expensive car.

Don’t get me wrong: Making money is important given that we live in a society in which it is needed for nearly every facet of life. But you must remember that money does not necessarily equal value.

If there’s anything your 20s should be used for, it should be for learning and building skills. Or better still, stack different skills that you can use to provide value in the real world.

Photo by Carl Heyerdahl on Unsplash

In our 20s, we are always looking for the next best thing to do, call this the grass is always greener syndrome. We chase the next best thing in the hope that it will bring us the lasting happiness and freedom we deserve only to get it and find that it doesn’t bring us any fulfilment.

Recognize that some of life's most enjoyable experiences often arise unexpectedly, as byproducts of actions not directly intended or anticipated.

Approach your 20s with a guiding principle: "Work to learn, not just to earn."

Society frequently emphasizes the latter approach: excel in exams, secure high-paying jobs, and you'll be set for life. However, the reality is not so straightforward.

For instance, after secondary school, I went for computer engineering and graduated but despite that, I didn’t see shishi, lol. It was only when I started acquiring various skills that my life changed.

I learnt copywriting, UI/UX, learning web programming. While these skills didn’t yield immediate financial returns, they later became great investments in my long-term growth. It's through these skills that I was able to create something of value, part of which is this newsletter.

Learn skills—acquire a plethora of them during this age. They may not pay off immediately, but trust me, they hold the key to your future success and fulfilment.

2. Hmmmm…….Pleasure

This is a challenge many of us, especially good-looking individuals face in our twenties [ I am not handsome o]. Excessive indulgence in pleasure often becomes a prevalent pattern during this phase of life. Why? Because there's often a strong urge to prove oneself to peers and a desire to fit in.

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Certainly, having fun is natural and expected. However, when these pleasures become excessive, they can impede your personal growth. This a stage where we are particularly susceptible to addiction due to the easily accessible dopamine rush that accompanies reckless and impulsive behaviour.

The more you learn to curb excessive indulgence, the clearer your life's purpose becomes. Strive to live your life fully, balancing between hard work, personal development, and leisure to create your best life. Don’t forget: In as much as your twenties can be a period of searching for meaning and purpose, it is much easier to give in to pleasure which in turn paves the way for distraction.

Viktor Frankl aptly expressed this by saying, "When a person can't find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure." Pleasurable activities, thanks to their dopamine-inducing effects, are indeed appealing. However, excessive indulgence can derail us from our goals and the pursuit of a purposeful life.

At this stage, many of your decisions will be guided by the pursuit of pleasure while simultaneously trying to evade discomfort. While this approach can be effective on occasion, there are times when it can hinder your progress toward your goals.

It's important to comprehend that to attain a deeper level of pleasure, we must learn to set limits on ourselves. Enjoy yourself, but be vigilant not to let it derail you from your objectives. Balance is the key.

Photo by Elena Mozhvilo on Unsplash

Excessive indulgence in pleasure, above all, can be a poor teacher because the most valuable life lessons often emerge from challenging experiences. These lessons are seldom acquired during moments of pleasure but instead, they tend to arise from pain. I'm not suggesting that you should actively seek out pain, nah. I am emphasizing that you should not live a life primarily driven by the pursuit of pleasure as it often leads to seeking it in the wrong places.

Consider the hours dedicated to YouTube, watching irrelevant videos. This time might be invested in improving some aspect of your life. The minutes scrolling endlessly through social media feeds could be channelled into deep, meaningful work.

The extent to which you're willing to reduce pleasurable distractions will significantly influence how far you can progress in life. It's about finding the balance that allows you to experience pleasure while still working towards your long-term goals and personal growth.

3. Lovey Dovey…….Eyyyyy

One of the common mistakes we make in our twenties is believing we're ready for a serious relationship when, in truth, we often aren't prepared at all.

To be fair, relationships can be especially complicated in your twenties, especially if you're unsure about your own path and purpose. Don’t ask me how because I have been there.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

In your twenties, it's common to mistake intense feelings of attraction and desire for love. You might believe you're in love with someone, but often, it's more about the excitement and novelty of the relationship. This is a normal part of growing up. Someone said: "'Forever' is one of the first things that come out of young people's mouths when they're in love. And that's cool, it's all good until you get old enough to realize what forever is." Lol. I also realized that but in a hard way.

At this stage of your life, it's easy to feel that your existence lacks meaning or direction, and yet, we sometimes rush into relationships, thinking they're the next logical step.

Instead, consider focusing on personal growth. Invest in yourself, acquire valuable skills, moderate excessive pleasures, and build a strong foundation for your future. As you grow older and find a sense of fulfilment in your life, you'll be better equipped to enter into a meaningful relationship.

Successful, long-lasting relationships are typically built by people who have a sense of purpose and fulfilment in their own lives. When both are clear about their goals and desires, their personal issues are less likely to spill into the relationship.

You reading this: it is possible you once had someone whom you loved so much and where is that person now? Only you can answer that. This serves as a reminder that everything has its own time in life, including relationships. Attempting to skip ahead can lead to unexpected setbacks.

Success often appears to be a linear journey in our twenties, but in reality, it rarely unfolds that way. However, if you can overcome short-sightedness and prioritize long-term thinking, you'll gain clarity and achieve success at your own pace.

If you find this helpful, don’t forget to drop a comment and most importantly, share. Thanks for reading.