What does it mean to lose, and who decides that you have lost?

Why do we judge so quickly when we ourselves crave mercy when it’s our turn on the witness stand of life?

“If I see someone with alcohol dripping from his beard, then I’ll say perhaps it spilled on him. And if I see him on top of a mountain saying, ‘I am your Lord most high’ (أنا ربكم الأعلى), then I’ll say he’s reciting a verse from the Qur’an.”

Those are the words of Imam Abu Hanifah رحمه الله, and they shake me every time I revisit them.

Photo by Smart on Unsplash

We live in an age where assumption travels faster than truth. A single rumour, a misinterpreted action, or a frozen screenshot is enough to crucify someone’s character. We forget that the same way we demand leniency for our unseen struggles, others too are battling storms behind closed doors. If your first instinct is suspicion, you poison your own heart before you wound anyone else.

Suspicion corrodes relationships. It breeds unnecessary conflict, creates barriers where none should exist, and turns friends into strangers. Mercy, on the other hand, stretches bonds. It builds trust; it heals; and it creates space for people to grow without the fear of being misjudged.

To give the benefit of the doubt is not to deny wrongdoing when it is clear. It is to withhold your hammer until the truth reveals itself. It is to allow room for innocence until guilt is undeniable. And even when guilt is clear, it is to remember that people are more than their mistakes.

The Prophet ﷺ said, “Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the most false of speech.” The disease of suspicion begins quietly, but once it enters your heart, it blinds you. Every smile looks fake, every silence looks guilty, and every gesture looks deceptive. You start seeing shadows that don’t exist.

The cure is simple, though difficult: train your heart to excuse people. Remind yourself: I too have been excused many times by Allah, even when I did not deserve it. Who am I, then, to deny others the same mercy?

How to Apply This in Life:

• Pause before conclusion. What you saw may not be the full story. Hold your judgement until clarity comes.

• Remember your own flaws. The more honest you are about your weaknesses, the gentler you become with others.

• Ask, don’t assume. A single question asked in kindness can save a friendship that suspicion would destroy.

• Filter gossip. Refuse to carry stories without evidence. Protect your heart from being a trash can for rumours.

• Pray for people. If you suspect evil, convert it into a silent prayer for their guidance instead of spreading their shame.

Giving people the benefit of the doubt is not about them; it’s about you. It is about preserving the purity of your heart, about refusing to become a cynic in a world that profits from suspicion. It is about building a society where mercy becomes the first language, not judgement.

To see someone through the lens of mercy is not weakness; it is prophetic strength. The more you protect others from your suspicion, the more Allah shields you from the suspicions of creation.